04.02.2020</p> ">
Being a new mother of two has been difficult to say the least, the mom guilt that came with being a single mom when I had my first daughter, Luna, during the beginning of the Pandemic and the fear of having to raise her on my own since her birth father isn't in the picture. The guilt that came with having my second daughter the following year and how I feared that if anything went wrong during the birth, Luna would be less without any parents. That guilt ate me up. The guilt that also came to me when I realized she would now have to share me with her sister after all the months we've spent with it just being us two. There's guilt in the fact that my daughters have two different fathers and one day someone will make that obvious to them when they're told they don't look alike.
Motherhood is so challenging yet so beautiful. It's often difficult trying to navigate through the ins and outs of what is expected of me as a mom but also the pressure that comes from social media and family. Adding on mothering during a pandemic and dealing with prenatal, birth, and the unspoken fourth trimester/postpartum can come with many obstacles. The pressure around breastfeeding versus formula feeding. Dealing with prenatal and/or postpartum depression. How to balance being an artist and a mom, a working woman and a mom, or even a stay at home mom. The Birth of a Black Mother is my diary, my journey to and through motherhood. It highlights my day to day with my two daughters Luna and Soleil and the moments we share together some beautiful and some harder to bear. This series also focuses on the treatment of women of color in medical spaces and how we don't have ownership over our bodies and the need to take back that ownership.